John Candelaria
Mustache Rating: 1 Fingers
Years Active: 1975-1993
Teams Played For: Pittsburgh Pirates, California Angels, New York Mets, New York Yankees, Montreal Expos, Minnesota Twins, Toronto Blue Jays, Los Angeles Dodgers
Career Stats: 177-122, 3.33 ERA
Was He Ever a Diamond King?: No
Claims to Fame:
- At 6’7″ was one of the tallest people in the history of MLB, but rather than a self-aggrandizing nickname like “The Big Unit”, settled for “The Candy Man”, even though that did more to make him seem like a child molester than even his mustache could
- Tried out for the Dodgers as a high schooler, and allegedly was not offered a contract because he wore a pot leaf t-shirt to one day of the try-out. Would later admit he “smoked marijuana, just like everyone else” when he was younger, but felt drugs had no place in major league baseball.
- In 1973, leapt off a hotel balcony on a dare to win $4.50 from his teammates. Broke his big toe, but pitched through it.
- In 1976, threw a no-hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates. When asked his thoughts after the game, observed, “I’m sure my mother is drunk by now.”
- Was a key member of the 1979 World Champion “WE ARE FAMILY” Pittsburgh Pirates, pitching six shutout innings in the penultimate game
- Twenty years later, was rewarded with a single Hall of Fame vote
- Thirty years later, was honored at a Pirates game, proving that even after all this time, he cannot grow a decent mustache