Finding an appropriate greeting card is a tricky proposition at best, and in recent years Father’s Day has become one of the most treacherous of all Hallmark Moments. Nearly every card on the shelves falls into one of two camps, with little in between:
GROUP ONE: “O Saintly Father, your Christian charity and homespun wisdom bring [...]
PARTISAN ALERT: I have never been a regular reader of Penny Arcade. I have been a regular listener of The Sound of Young America and Jordan Jesse Go for several years, and have met both Jordan and Jesse. They strike me as nice guys, not “ironic hipsters”, though perhaps this makes me an “ironic hipster” [...]
So I am a Cablevision customer. So are my parents. None of us have any real choice in the matter, as Cablevision/Optimum hold an effective monopoly on internet/television service in our respective communities. Both of these incidents were really annoying and wasted significant chunks of my Sunday and Monday, but by Wednesday everyone in my [...]
The Food I Love to Hate
Taken from Stories Galore! by C.R. Eckert. Topeka: American Binderies, 1987 edition. 1/1.
1. Lobster
2. Grapes
3. Onions
4. Ham
5. Frog Legs
6. Lima Beans
7. Green Beans
8. Spinich
9. Apple Sauce
10. Pineapple
11. Lamb
12. Shushi
13. Fish
14. Pear
15. Oysters
16. Cherries
17. Oatmeal (sorry, Gonzo)
18. Liver Oil
19. Prune Juice
20. Cantalope
21. Caviar
22. Hot Peppers (drawn with flames surrounding words)
23. Cailflower
I like to fancy myself a writer. I don’t know what kind of writer, but I write things with some degree of regularity, I think about the writerly craft, I help children and adults improve their writing and I get irrationally angry when professional organizations let the phrase “could care less” into their publications.
All of [...]
I am poised to spend a significant amount of time socializing with not one, but two people that are not Ian, Jessica, Miles or a family member within the span of seven days. For me, this is a nearly unprecedented level of social flightiness!
Yes, everything work-related comes in pairs. I’m like a retail Noah.
One
YOUNGER BROTHER: Rosa Parks Story? The hell is that?
OLDER SISTER: Duh! Think back to history class!
YOUNGER BROTHER: What do you mean, I don’t remember any Rosa Parks.
OLDER SISTER: You’re so stupid!
YOUNGER BROTHER: …
OLDER SISTER: Come on!
YOUNGER BROTHER: …
OLDER SISTER: She ran the [...]
